“The Devil is real. And he’s not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. ‘Cause he’s a fallen angel, and he used to be God’s favorite.” —

American Horror Story, Season 1

(Probably my favorite quote from the entire series.)


somepotternerd:

Hagrid Hagrid Potter, you were named after the onLY GUY IN MY LIFE WHO LOOKED OUT FOR ME WITH ZERO ULTERIOR MOTIVES HE LITERALLY JUST CARED ABOUT ME BECAUSE HE WAS A GENUINELY NICE PERSON AND HE DESERVES SOME RECOGNITION FOR THAT


homophobic:

my niece flipping my sister off during the ultrasound


kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡


"She was another woman who meant so much to me. When we were doing 30 Rock and we needed to cast Jane Krakowski’s estranged Florida dirtbag mother and I thought, ‘My god, do you think we could get Jan Hooks?’ Because she’s an idol of mine, from the Sweeney Sisters to the Miss Self Esteem Pageant. Just the funniest woman ever. And I was like, ‘Do you we could get her? And the answer was like, ‘Yeah, you can get her.’ She was living in Woodstock. And the phone was not ringing.

We called her and said, ‘Do you want to do this?’ And she was like, ‘OK?’ She was actually a little shy about jumping back into the game. And she came down and she was so funny. We did a scene where Jenna and her mother are reunited and they’ve been estranged, but they decide to sing their duet that they used to sing in pageants when Jenna was a child. And it was a mother and a daughter singing to each other: “Do that to me one more time…” (Laughter) And it was so funny and the crew was so mesmerized. It was all at once the most ridiculous and heartbreaking and beautiful, this weird mother-daughter relationship. And I’m so proud of it.

It made me sad when she passed, and it made me mad at the time how available she was. Jan should have had a bigger career. Jan deserved a big movie career. Certainly as big as Rob Schneider’s (expletive) career. She was a bigger star on SNL.”

” — Tina Fey on the late Jan Hooks. (via 30rockasaurus)


  • White Co-Worker: That's not how you say it.
  • My Dad: But you knew what I meant so why do you have to make a big deal out of it.
  • White Co-Worker: Aww come on man, it's funny, lighten up will yah Nestor?
  • My Dad: You know I speak 5 languages, right? How many can you speak?
  • White Co-Worker: Just English
  • My Dad: Tell me something. What does a cow say?
  • White Co-Worker: Moo?
  • My Dad: That's right, the cows in my country say that too. You know why? They can only speak one language *walks away*
  • White Co-Worker: *sheds white tears*

julieidk:

if someone tells you that you are not good enough, do not listen to them because you are 100% good enough


kawaiilluminatii:

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried


burghers:

are any of my followers rich 


dutchster:

isn’t it sad how you’re less likely to be considered crazy for uncontrollably crying than if you’re walking down the street singing and smiling